Raw, Angry Thoughts on Corporate Life

This blog contains strong language, profanity, and explicit opinions. It is written in a raw, unfiltered style and is not intended for sensitive readers. If that’s not your thing, this probably isn’t the blog for you. 

I am thinking about Jobs these days. Don't ask me why. But I am realising these days, every time I am with someone, in corporate, or someone who is obsessed with Jobs, some are obsessed with their comp, someone who is always looking for a higher comp. I feel it is extremely tiring and fake. Now, I am in no way denying that survival comes first. But at least in the Indian context, jobs have been glorified, working long hours is glorified, sucking your manager's dick is glorified, more salary and high promotion means only one thing, not that you are winning in life, but you are winning at being the top tier, ultra successful slave. The higher the salary, the more pegging happens. By the time you are at the top of the ladder, you ashole is big enough that it almost looks like a black hole. But hey, there is a flip side to it. The more you climb the ladder, the more you can fuck others and make their assholes bigger, so at least then you have the satisfaction that you are not the only one getting fucked and you have equal opportunity to fuck someone else. Every day, I wear an identity card around my neck, but for some reason, it feels more like a leash. 

Every day I go to the office, and as I enter, I feel this immense sense of emptiness, like why are these buildings and offices built anyway, when most of the companies are absolutely doing nothing, I mean, there is no impact on humanity, environment, life, consciousness, love, etc., etc., apart from absolutely ruining them. We are losing our lives, our time on this planet, for absolutely meaningless stuff. Why? Because we need to get food on the table, we need to fill someone's stomach, and get involved in this trap and system that is carefully crafted to keep you trapped in the loop of a meaningless cycle.  We have become too numb, too desensitised to all of this bullshit. I can't no longer be exicited, about technology, and a fancy job. Then one might say why dont you start a business, well, I walked into starbucks and these businessmen, are usually there discussing about what the next strategy is what the next move is, and when I hear that, I feel this absolute dryness, like what are we doing, we are earning for the sake of earning, yes, money is good, but its just meaningless. Now, obviously, one might say for them it might seem meaningful, I am totally fine with it, I am not gonna go and stop anyone from working at their jobs and businesses, but what I am trying to say is everything is very surface level, there is no substance to this living. 

When I see someone with a lot of spark in their eyes working on some stupid thing, I have this sadness for them. Yes, their dreams are nice, and they should attain their full potential, but something in me feels sorry for them. Not for everyone, though, I know this person who is a triathlon athlete, and is a top performer, and he does this professionally, and I feel he is living his life. I am always happy to see him, and I don't get that sadness when I see these businessmen. Now, these business people I am talking about are the IT industry folks only. We are creating a corporation ourselves by creating an IT company, and creating this loop of meaninglessness. Yes, the money in the IT business is amazing, but it's dry; I would rather sell drugs. As I am thinking its basically pointing towards the environment that corporate creates, these fake personalities which we create, the fake way we act. I bet if we start a boxing ring, and we make these people fight, I can almost guarantee people will start beating each other with all they've got, and it will eventually turn into an all-out brawl. The lack of authenticity is just too much. And I swear to God, whenever I hear one of these American guys laughing, specifically that corporate laugh, every cell in my body wants to punch that guy. Their level of narcissism is unmatched. They think the whole world revolves around them, and they expect the employees to work at random times, because they are used to it in their country. And my head blows off when the Europeans, who have the most amazing work-life balance but not a single brain cell in them, dumb fuckers can't understand a single task. The issue is that we, as Indians, have to adjust to everyone's work-life balance at the sacrifice of our own. My manager is paid 50 fucking lakhs as comp. But I feel so sorry for that poor guy, all this money, and he has to attend late-night meetings, and his daughter doesn't get to spend time with him. This is nothing but slavery. Recently, my comp was increased by more than 100% because I am a top performer, and I am impacting the bottom line directly, but as I was happy when I first heard the news, the second moment a part of soul cried, basically it was crying because it knew deep down you are going to get pegged even more now so be ready with your ass wide open. 

And that was like a wake-up call. So here's my plan, I will get fucked for a few more years, till then I will work on something along the way, which will help me shift from all this prostitution. And where the mind, soul, and body are in a calm place. And we won't have to be sold to someone. And I can be involved in something that brings peace, impacts the environment, or life, or all the things I mentioned at the very top, and finally, I get a sense of meaning, even though a bit, that would be enough.