Recently I have been thinking of this concept and what it means to me. As always let's start with some context.
I initially started thinking about this when I came back from the UK after staying there for a year. At the time, I didn't give it a lot of thought probably because I was yet to face some major difficulties in life. So what were those things?
Let’s break this down into a few major categories:
Family
Finance (loans and systemic constraints)
Material freedom
Social freedom
Professional freedom
Family
In India, parents tend to be exceptionally close to their children. This closeness is a beautiful thing, but it can also be detrimental. Such emotional proximity often leads to baggage and projections onto the children. As a result, children grow up constantly preoccupied with thoughts like:
“What would my parents say?”
“How should I act?”
“Can I let myself go?”
“Can I try this or experiment with that?”
The idea of leaving home is particularly daunting. Unlike in Western cultures where moving out is common and normalized, in India, it’s often met with resistance. The moment you mention moving out, parents may respond with statements like:
“So, you don’t care about us?”
“How will you survive alone?”
“If this is how you are now, what will you do in our old age?”
This makes it extremely difficult to untangle oneself from the grasp of such emotional holds. When children finally do leave home, say, to study abroad, they often find themselves free from these tangled relationships. In my case, moving to the UK for education was like a butterfly finally emerging from its cocoon. Except, in this case, the butterfly wasn’t just leaving, it was escaping.
This detachment led to a sense of instant freedom. Freed from the constant nagging and expectations, children begin to discover suppressed aspects of their personalities. It’s no surprise that many of my friends in the UK came out of the closet about their sexuality; they finally had an environment free of judgment, where they could express themselves openly.
Now imagine asking someone who’s experienced this freedom to return to their earlier constraints. It feels like regressing back into the cocoon. This thought deeply saddens me. For many like me, the freedom that detachment brings is transformative.
Financial Freedom
When I moved to the UK, I took out an education loan. For someone who had never worked before and had no experience managing finances, being handed a loan to repay in the future was daunting. After returning to India and starting work, I began noticing a depressing pattern: a systematic locking into the system.
Here’s how it unfolds:
You take an education loan to secure your future.
Now, you’re compelled to find a job to start repaying the loan.
Once you start earning, you barely make ends meet.
Need a car to commute? That’s another loan.
Want a house? Yet another loan.
Have kids? Congratulations, more expenses to finance.
This creates a vicious cycle where you’re perpetually trapped in the system. Some might suggest starting a business as an alternative, but that also requires significant time and money, both of which are scarce. Meanwhile, the monthly interest on loans doesn’t wait, forcing you to prioritize immediate income through a job. To make matters worse, banks often favour salaried individuals over freelancers or aspiring entrepreneurs. Without a steady paycheck, accessing credit becomes nearly impossible.
This realization has made me fear loans and become acutely aware of the systemic traps we’re forced into. If I hadn’t taken that education loan, I might have been in a position to quit my job and explore other opportunities. Instead, I’m compelled to stick with it. This has given me a deep appreciation for the importance of financial freedom.
Material Freedom
In today’s world, it’s unrealistic to reject material possessions entirely. However, I’ve embraced minimalism for nearly six years and took it to an extreme when I left the UK, donating about 70% of my belongings. Now, I only buy and keep items that are either essential or add genuine value to my life.
My guiding principle is simple:
“Do I absolutely need it, or do I just want it?”
This approach has significantly reduced my overall costs. If I ever need to move again, I can pack all my belongings into the standard 46 kg (23+23 kg) airline luggage allowance. While I still enjoy shopping, this minimalist mindset forces me to engage in a mental chess match before making purchases, ensuring I truly need them.
Social Freedom
Social expectations can be stifling. Questions like:
“What will people think?”
“Should I buy the latest iPhone to fit in?”
“What if they judge me for being queer?”
“Does this dress suit me?”
“Is my nose too big?”
At some point, I decided to say, “Fuck it.” I stopped caring about these judgments. Instead of chasing trends, consuming news, or scrolling through social media, I’ve redirected my energy toward more fulfilling activities like writing, reading, and working on side projects. This mindset has been liberating.
Professional Freedom
This is an area where I’m still struggling. Being stuck in a job you don’t like, working on things you don’t care about, and earning money without feeling content is frustrating. The goal isn’t to find a passion project but to do work that brings contentment and allows me to work on my terms.
However, achieving professional freedom is easier imagined than done. Can I work on that creative pursuit I’ve been dreaming of? Can I finally start that business I’ve been planning? These questions remain unanswered, but they highlight the difficulty of breaking free.
The Mantra: Freedom as Power
After all this reflection, my mantra is clear:
“Always aim to be in a position or as close to it as possible where you can say ‘Fuck off’ to people, situations, and material things.”
In this freedom lies true power. To achieve it, I’m taking deliberate steps, even if it means owning less and leading a simpler life. If it gives me peace of mind and freedom, it’s worth it.
As Narendra Modi said: “Hum to fakir aadmi hai, jhola leke chal padenge”. Striving for that mindset is essential, or else we remain perpetually locked in the system.