Casual Thoughts 30-08-2025

Lately, I’ve been numb, no emotions, no real feelings. The root of it is simple: I hate the 9–5 grind. It’s not that I think work is unnecessary; if I were running my own business, I’d happily work 24/7. But the way Indian IT operates… it drains you. It sucks the life out of you.

Every morning I wake up and think, damn, I’m still alive. It’s a drag. I feel like I’m losing the best years of my life working for some asshole sitting in the US, or some old fuck sitting in India, in a system that doesn’t care. Weekends aren’t even a relief anymore; they just remind me how close Monday is. Life feels like it’s stuck on fast-forward; pause for a moment, and whole days, weeks, and months are gone.

Sure, people say, “Just find something else.” But bills are real, and I’m not blind to that. That reality fuels a lot of my anger. Lately, my only focus is cutting down debt and building a way out, building some kind of freedom, whatever that means.

And then there’s the isolation. No social life, no support system, no one to lean on. It’s the perfect recipe for disaster. When you stop feeling love, joy, or even anger; when friends, family, and relationships all feel distant, it’s a serious place to be.